Paley 14th: Finally A Real Party
After two birthdays during COVID, we thought Paley deserved more than meet and greet on the front lawn. It was an interesting year since our last birthday post for Paley. Thirteen brought a lot more developments in her personality, interests and of course her physical body. A young lady she is! For her birthday, we decided to give her a 14th to remember. The plan was to rent the beach house for a long weekend and invite some of her friends for her first birthday sleepover in 3 years.
With a great birthday in the can, next it was trying to salvage what was left of middle school. Covid robbed kids of so much. While Paley was able to self manage her daily routines at home throughout COVID but returning back to campus for a full year was a bigger challenge. Falling back into a regimented routine in the classroom and outside of the classroom was a big test. She prevailed and opted to keep things simple that spring by just doing one show and enjoying her last year of middle school.
What was is a real bummer, she was only able to do two shows in 3 years of middle school. I only blame the teacher, who failed them by not orchestrating something online for the students. Twice I emailed him offering to help organize something. Paley did two shows virtually through Starting Arts and it was fun and a great success. She almost chopped off her hair to donate it. The plan was to do it this upcoming summer, but in the life of a teen, things change in a teenagers world on a pretty quick timeline.
Paley continues to not only broaden her own horizons but ours as parents. Many moons ago, we are talking 25+ years ago, I was apart of a youth organization in Providence, RI called Youth Pride Incorporated (YPI). We did a lot of outreach to the LGBT teen community and also did speaking engagements to provide LGBT and gender education. Talking to Paley today about pronouns, sexual and gender identity has really augmented all that I learned and taught almost three decades ago obsolete. (That hurt to write that I am talking about decades ago.) Don’t get me wrong, we have but heads, and while I might chop it up stubborn teen mentality, I am just as stubborn. I still have a lot more to learn and I am willing to listen to her and eventually the twins.
Paley is embracing her own identity but as she is learning, there is always room to grow. We try our best to teach the kids that they need to focus on their story, their identity and not worry about what we think, friends think, or the expectation from your own community. Paley like many teens have their struggles, her ability to communicate and express changes or chapters in her life, just makes proud and smile. One thing I have learned from my kids, is patience. I will admit, Clem has also taught me this many years before they arrived.
Looking ahead in her 14th year, maybe there will be a chop of the hair, but High School is finally coming. The challenges and new adventures are going to be stressful and rewarding at the same time. She is truly trying to grow up more and more, by preparing herself for what is to come. Drivers education, high school performing arts and the worry about college. The struggle is real, and finding distractions for her will certainly help out in the end. I just hope she adjusts to High School Freshman life and the struggle of making friends or finding your people.