Paley 16th: Following Her Road

Better late than never. This young woman lives and breathes theatrical endeavors, whether its onstage, on paper, or even on the screen. She truly appreciates the written and spoken arts! Over the last year, Paley journeyed by closing out her freshman year and kicking off her sophomore year. Freshman year to start was a struggle, but she found her groove and steered full steam ahead and then rounded out the her freshman year feeling a great accomplishment for the year. For her 15th Birthday she wanted a party and we pulled off movie theater viewing of a with about a dozen of her high school and girl scout friends.

For sweet 16, she wanted something a little more fun and not so formal at first, but as the year progressed, she found her interest move towards something she didn’t have to plan or worry about so many guests coming. In the end, I tapped on the biggest change we made with our 15 year old we made that year. Giving her more freedom. I suggested either a trip with her two best friends to SF or Disneyland, and let them explore the whole day on their own. Paley chose SF, because she thought Disney was just too much money! As I said, “it’s still cheaper than a sweet 16 party in a nightclub!” which was our original direction. It was the greatest choice because her 16th was spent in SF for two night, exploring the city with her two closest friends by her side. Of course I played chauffeur and was two doors down in the hotel. I’m not for that much freedom.

Paley spent a good portion of her 15th year on stage. This year, she stepped into an assistant directors position for the school play and really enjoyed the process. In her freshman year she started talking about writing a play after she managed to write and perform a poem in the district showcase. Just before her 16th, she returned to the showcase with a second amazing poem. Her hope is to have a play written and ready to produce for her Senior year showcase. Right now she has two ideas she working on by developing the characters, before tackling a story line and script. She’s already finding her characters going down different paths than she was initially planning. Gotta love writing. Nothing turns out the way you originally planned.

What I love about Paley’s ability to write, is to escape the normal character paths you see in books, films or shows. She’s already planning on writing a dissertation on the trappings of one Disney shows, that has wound her up for years, for it’s poor character development. As we mentioned in the twins post, Paley joined her siblings in the pool, choosing to join the swim team, after the twins time trials that summer. She opted to keep it simple by focusing on swimming what she could and not get into the pressures of times and placement. That’s her brother’s department. She had a good time on the team, the only real complaint was the lack of peers on the team. But, as I say, you make social events whatever you want them to be. She managed to swim in 4 meets that season, sadly that didn’t include the championship meet. By that weekend she was off to summer, as a counselor in training that summer.

Summer camp was a good lesson in how our hopes something can be augmented by reality. Paley kicked off her counselor career at summer camp with a good lesson for what is to come. Called CILT, she enjoyed making new friends, but missed a lot of her regular friends. I am to blame for that one. Sadly in Fall of 2022 my head was not in it’s usual place. I thought I had registered the kids for camp in September, but shortly after my mother’s passing. I received an email to remind to register my kids for camp. Sadly, Paley’s regular session was booked for the CILT program. She had to do another session instead. Looking ahead for the next level of counseling, she plans on doing the upcoming summer CIT level program. Then comes summer after her Junior year and she’s already focused on getting ready for college that summer. So she at least plans to skip the Junior Counselor program for summer programs at some universities she’s interested in.

Now we come to the education topic. Paley had a better start to her sophomore year, compared to her freshman year. She started spreading her wings by old friend circles and building new ones. She’s still close with most of her Girl Scout troop which is still together, and well into their 11th year. The summer after freshman year, Clem and I ran into friends in New York City, who were on the east coast to tour colleges, with their rising Junior twins. The main reason why they were touring early, was because they had one child who was expecting to do early acceptance because she was in sports. That got me thinking, one we need to get in gear with working with a college counselor and spending next summer touring schools would make life a lot easier for Paley during her Jr. year, and give her more freedom the summer after her Junior year, to apply for writing programs. I shared my idea with Paley and she really loved the idea, especially giving her more freedom and less stress during her Jr. year.

Another big hurdle she made the jump over, is beginning college counselor endeavor. We got the lead on the amazing Tamara Strachman and her company Custom College Consultants. I had talked to with a few families that worked with Tamara in the past and the one thing each family shared was how relaxed their student felt in the prep and hard work during the application process. Something I knew Paley would really benefit from during the high stress application process. Clem and I joined her during her initial interview via zoom. We were extremely impressed with how Paley took the lead in the interview and had to so many questions prepared. I’ll write more on that process later..

Overall I think Paley faced new and old challenges during her 15th year. She conquered so much of it on her own. Letting her tackle these challenges and ask for help when she needs it will give her more power as she gets older and more independent. Letting go, is our biggest challenge in parenting. Letting her and her friends fly off on their own for a day, was a major milestone. Looking ahead for 16, she will finish out her sophomore year and is already looking at a heavy class load for her Junior year. She does have friends taking more AP classes than her, but we have always said, do what you think you can handle. She came back to us after submitting her class choices, with three AP classes for Junior year. Even now, a one week out from the start of school, she does question three being too much. We reminded her that she can ultimately make a change once school starts.

Paley at 16, is a new chapter I think all three of us were not prepared for. I will admit, I may be a little more prepared than Clem with her moving towards graduating high school and college. There are times I catch him saying he misses that little girl. And I am telling myself I miss the little girl. But where she is coming from and where she is going is so exciting to watch. Watching her love for writing and theatrical arts blossom each year is an inspiration. We spent years trying to tell her how she was a gifted writer, but I think high school is the place where she has not only embraced her voice but allowed her imagination to flow into her fingers as she writes. Junior year will certainly be a test for her. She’s really looking forward to camp this summer because one her closest camp buddies will be joining her for the session. The highlight so far with Paley, is her love for her siblings. Don’t get me wrong, they exhaust her but deep down, she has their back and cares for them genuinely.

With a 4.5 year gap, you can easily see siblings separate themselves and start creating barriers in the teen years. I am excited to see Paley continue to flourish in her Junior year. Working to keep her pressures off her plate at home is our greatest challenge for the school year. For now, we are excited to see what college tours brings to plate for the next chapter. For now, we are beyond proud the path she’s forging and we know all path’s have branches and I personally am excited to see her follow each branch to not only learn but celebrate. One last happy note or gift for her 16th birthday, Paley got her braces taken off after 1.5 year of wearing them. The photos above were taken around her birthday, flashing her new smile.