Kids Climbing the Walls

If you have kids, I am sure you have heard this question a few time over the past six months. “Are the kid climbing the walls?”

I get that talking about kids is a great conversation starter between two people. This questions seems to be the go to question for those who don’t have kids. I find this question to be a trigger. A Trigger to a reaction of divulging our frustrations or personal struggle. Personally, my kids are pretty happy, pretty relaxed and pretty vocal when it come to times of high stress or anxiety. I am willing to admit the I personally have had my moments these three six months, so have my kids.

Every single person in my household has had those moments. The one thing my twins struggled with last school year was the double change in their curriculum. My oldest struggled to find her balance in what was expected of her academically vs. the parental expectations. I don’t really look at my kids as reaching for the walls when stress is mounting. Climbing those walls isn’t really a option. Yes, walls will always be there, recognizing them and finding the strength to go around them is the best option. To me climbing on top of these walls just adds more stress. Maneuvering past them not only reduces our stress but shows our kids, we too can come up with alternatives or solutions to problems.

Ultimately, the question promotes you to reveal yourself, react while seeking comfort or sympathy. I don’t like the question because,, while every family is different and every students experience with distance learning is very different. I don’t want to force someone to have to listen to my crap unless, I am ready to vomit it all out on the floor in front of them. I talk with friends all the time about how home life is going. We all share. But asking someone if their child is struggling, is not the right question we should be asking each other. If you care, if you want to be there for someone, Ask, how are you doing? or how is your week going? Let people share what they are ready to share. We all have our off days, we all need support and ultimately we just want someone to listen to us and to care. 

Kids are going to have varying degrees of PTSD from this experience. So will parents! Kids are resilient and they will heal in time. As parents the key lesson of parenting, patience, will be the key factor to moving past these moments in our children’s lives. Patience with our kids, with our schools, with our family and friends and even patience with our community. We all want to go to normal. We all have expectations of when that should happen. We all need to respect how not only is every child is different but every family is different. So before you think asking about a persons struggles with their children. Focus on the adult, focus on the family.